5 months so far.
What a journey so far. Every day is a new day and I couldn't be more happier or
more at peace with myself. It's truly amazing to see all the changes, even the
subtle ones. There is definitely a change in the voice, deeper and still a ways
to go. I actually like talking on the phone now. The other day I heard myself
on the phone and geeked out a little ha. Hair growth is very very very slow. We
bought my first razor and shaving cream for the face to help stimulate more
black hair versus the peach fuzz I have so much of. Fat is redistributing to a
more "male" shape and muscles are more defined, especially in my
arms. Once I lose some more weight, its back to the gym for me, need to release
all of this energy I seem to have a lot of lately.
Bet your wondering
what the heck is up with the title? Bathroom dysphoria. Most transgendered
persons suffer from this, especially in the beginning of their journey. Which
bathroom do I go in? Am I safe? Using the restroom in public absolutely
terrifies me. I'm scared that using the women's restroom will result in someone
harassing me to the point of police involvement. I'm scared of using the men's
restroom for fear they will realize that I lack the equipment to be in there.
In some public male restrooms there is not even a stall to use, or the stall is
missing the door, or god knows what happened in that stall. So I look for a
family restroom. Either their in such an obscure spot you will never find it,
or they are being used, or they don't have one.
A lot of the time, I
will either hold it or take a chance in the female restroom. Pretty soon though
I will pass as the gender I am and going into the female restroom will no
longer be an option. But I ask myself, why in the hell is it anyone's business which
one I use. If I have to go I go. Are you really in fear for your life if there
is a "tranny" using the restroom? Are you yourself going to check
what's going on in all of our pants to make sure we meet the requirements of
male or female restroom? Personally I will bite your hand off if you come
anywhere near me. I will use whatever bathroom I damn well want to because I
will not risk a bladder infection over someone's comfortability. Harassment and prejudice are still alive and
well in this day and age. Until people can treat each other with respect those
of us that fall outside of what society sees as "normal" will
continue to be fearful of being ourselves.
